


A Thousand Dreams in One Drop of Ink

by Garonne



Category: Flight of the Heron - D. K. Broster, Gleam in the North - D. K. Broster
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death Fix, Epistolary, M/M, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24963187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garonne/pseuds/Garonne
Summary: A decade-long courtship by letter.
Relationships: Ewen Cameron/Keith Windham
Comments: 13
Kudos: 14





	A Thousand Dreams in One Drop of Ink

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Luzula for beta-reading!
> 
> Note: Keith is still alive, and Ewen was not yet married when they met (for the last time before this story begins) at Fort Augustus

* * *

Bergues, 7th May 1748

Dear Major Windham,—I have long wish'd to write to you, to thank you for your Kindness & to express my deep sense of Obligation for the great Services you render'd me on more than one Occasion. When last we met you would not tell me how much you sacrific'd for my Sake, but I know it was far from negligible.

Until now, my ambiguous Status under the Law restrain'd my Hand, but recently I have receiv'd Word that clarifies the Terms of last Year's Act of Indemnity.

I do not know what News you had of me, if any, after we parted in Fort Augustus, but perhaps you are aware that I never reach'd my Destination. I have been in France these past two Years, tho' I hope I will soon return to Ardroy. I am deeply conscious how much I owe my Life to your Intervention on my behalf & to your Determination that Justice be done & Compassion shewn.

I am addressing this to you by way of your Regiment, in the Hope that it will reach you via that Channel.

Your Debtor,  
Ewen Cameron of Ardroy

* * *

Aix-la-Chapelle, 27th July 1748

Dear Ardroy,—No Thanks are necessary or even merited for the little I could do on your Behalf. Any man of Honour would have done the same in the same Circumstances, I hope.

I have long regretted that I did not write to you during the Months you spent at Fort Augustus—you must put it down to a despicable Excess of Prudence on my part. It is too late to remedy that Omission, & I can only be grateful that you write to me now. I have wonder'd where you might be & how you far'd. I did indeed get Word of your Fate after you left Fort Augustus. I will say no more on that head, except to express my Pleasure that you will soon be returning to Ardroy. 

You did not tell me where a Letter might reach you, but I presume you are known at the Post Office in Inverness. Your own Letter reach'd me only today. I am in the Rhineland, as you see, & currently attach'd to Lt-General Broughton's staff—a temporary Appointment. Should you ever wish to write to me again, tho' I cannot judge how likely that may be, you will reach me most reliably by addressing your Letter under cover to my Regiment, as you have done.

Your most obd't Servant,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 12th September 1748

Dear Major Windham,—You said it was not likely I should ever wish to reach you, but I assure you, I should be sorry never to write to you nor hear from you again.

I receiv'd your Letter, as you see. I send regularly to the Post Office in Inverness to collect any Correspondence address'd to me there.

You say you are on Lt-General Broughton's Staff. I trust this means you were not injur'd by your Refusal to testify against me, but have rather receiv'd the Advancement & Recognition you surely merit.

You make light of what you have done for me, but indeed it is even more than you know. You will not previously have been aware of this, I hope, but I must acquaint you with something that occurr'd in '46. A garbled Account of what happen'd at Major Guthrie's camp got abroad, & one of my Followers, through a Misunderstanding, wish'd to hunt you down & avenge my Fate on you. (To tell you the whole Truth, it was Lachlan MacMartin, the same who most unforgivably took you for a Spy & set upon you that morning when you wander'd up to Slochd nan Eun.) Indeed when I finally manag'd to find him again & put a stop to the Misunderstanding, he confess'd that he had once lain in Ambush for you by Loch Tarff & almost kill'd you with a Musket Shot. I dread to think what Harm could have come to you. I could not have borne that, not only because of the terrible Injustice that would be should you suffer Injury because of what you did for me, but also for your own Sake & the Regard I bear you.

Your Servant,  
Ardroy

* * *

Aix-la-Chapelle, 19th October 1748

Dear Ardroy,—I believe your Letter journey'd to England & back before it reach'd me, but I have receiv'd it at last.

I shall never regret any Action I may have taken concerning you, but I thank you for putting paid to any Rumours that circulated. I know where & with whom they began. Let us put it behind us now.

I am glad to think of you at Ardroy, and I hope you and your Kinsfolk fare well there—if the Sentiment is not unwelcome coming from a Man of my Allegiance. I do not know in what State you found your House & Lands upon your return, but I know what wave of Destruction swept through the Highlands in the Summer of '46, & at the time all I could do was hope Ardroy might be spar'd the worst of it. 

For my own part, I have been fortunate. I accompanied Lord Albemarle to Flanders in '47, & I have been on the Continent ever since with Broughton & the Earl of Sandwich. I thank you for your Good Wishes, & I assure you, my Career has not suffer'd in any way through our Association.

I beg you will convey my best Wishes to your Wife & Aunt.

Your Servant,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 1st December 1748

Dear Windham,—I see you are still in the Rhineland, or at least you were there at the time of writing your Letter. I have not had any of the Edinburgh Newspapers for some weeks now because of the inclement Weather, but when last I read something of the Conclusion of Peace Negotiations in Aix-la-Chapelle, I thought of you there & wonder'd how you far'd & whether you would soon be sent elsewhere.

Here, since last I wrote, we have been very much occupied preparing for the Winter Months. I was fortunate to find Ardroy in good shape, thanks in no small part to my Aunt Margaret's skillful Management. I do not forget, either, that it is thanks to you I am here at all to enjoy it. I am not sure what Experience, if any, you may have of agricultural Matters—indeed sometimes I feel I know very little about you!—but I imagine you can readily conceive what Tasks have occupied us in recent Months: laying in Winter Feed for the Cattle & Firewood for ourselves, & so on. As I write, the Snow lies thick on the Ground already.

As to my Wife, I suppose you mean Miss Alison Grant. I will certainly pass on your Good Wishes to her via my Aunt, who is still in Correspondence with her. She lives in Vincennes, close to where her Brother is station'd. As you see, Life took each of us down a different Path, & we did not marry.

I send this Letter hoping it will not take too many Months to reach you, & will find you in Good Health as it leaves me.

Your Servant,  
Ardroy

* * *

Brussels, 2nd January 1749

Dear Ardroy,—I know nothing of the Management of an Estate, but I do at least know something of the Rhythms of the Countryside. My Stepfather owns some Land in Wiltshire, & I spent a considerable part of my Childhood there. Tho' Agricultural Life in the south of England is surely rather different to that in Scotland, there must be some Similarities. During the one Winter I spent in Scotland, I was not best plac'd to observe or appreciate the Differences, I fear.

Here in Brussels I am attach'd to the British Army Delegation to the new Hapsburg Governor, & the only thing I see of the Rhythm of the Seasons is the dirty slushy streets of the Town Centre.

My Orderly is a Highlander from Wester Ross, a talkative Fellow & an endless Source of Information—a Gaelic speaker too, of course. I managed to persuade him to teach me a few Words in that Tongue, altho' he was surpris'd & bewilder'd that I should wish it. I suppose it is unlikely ever to be of any Use to me outside Scotland, but I seem to have retain'd an Interest in the Country after the Year or so I spent there.

I will not attempt to write down any of the Words in question, for he is illiterate himself & could not tell me how they might be spelt, & my own Attempts to transcribe the Sounds will surely amuse you more than enlighten you. But he tells me they are Phrases of Greeting, Farewell & the like.

Your Servant,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 10th February 1749

Dear Windham,—This is the Time of Year call'd Faoilteach—the end of Winter & the beginning of Spring. Perhaps you may ask your Orderly how it is pronounced. It is always a stormy Time of Year, but this Morning dawn'd bright & clear, & after I have written this Letter I shall take it into Inverness myself. As I sit here at my desk, through the window I see fresh Snow on the Summit of Beinn Nibheis. I doubt you noticed it while you were here, or remember it now if you did, but from the front of the House here one can see that far on a clear Day.

We are presently much occupied with weaning last Year's Calves & trying to husband our stocks of Winter Feed. It will be several Months before the Cattle may be put out to Pasture. My Herd is almost back at full Strength, a great source of Satisfaction to me—but I could wish that the last Harvest of Hay had been similarly bountiful.

I wonder where you are now, & if you are still in the Low Countries. I thought of you when I read about the French Withdrawal from those parts, & guess'd your Presence there must be in some way connected with that Event. Wherever you are, I hope you are well.

Your Servant,  
Ardroy

* * *

Liege, 29th May 1749

Dear Ardroy,—I have lost my Ross-shire Orderly. He has been poached by my Colonel & replac'd by a Lowlander who does not speak a word of Erse.

You are correct in assuming my Presence here to be related to the French Withdrawal. These past few Months I have seen far more of Flanders than I ever did in '44, travelling the Country in the Company of two Hapsburg Officers, securing Artillery, Ordnance & the like which is the property of the British Crown & which had to be abandon'd or was otherwise misplac'd in some way during the recent Conflict.

I confess I do not well remember the View from the front of the House at Ardroy, for all that I spent a Day idling on the Grass there, with little to do but observe my Surroundings—but I remember admiring that little Lake which lies on your Lands, even if I had not yet grown accustom'd to the sparseness of its Environs.

By the time you read these Words it will be Harvest Time, or close to it—&, I trust, a good & plentiful one.

Your Servant,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 3rd August 1749

Dear Windham,—Not all the Harvests have been good in recent Years, but this Year it gladdens my Heart to see my Fields golden under the Sun. It was around this time of Year that you came to Ardroy. When I try to cast back my Mind, I feel I cannot truly remember those Days—or rather, I see them as through a Veil separating the present Life from the former. So much has been lost or irrevocably chang'd since then. And you yourself, of course, were no willing Visitor, & must surely retain no particularly pleasant Memories of those Days. 

And yet recently it has been an Exercise with me to remember that Meeting & our other Meetings since. I have sometimes thought that under other Circumstances, perhaps, we might have been Friends.

Your Servant,  
Ardroy

* * *

Ardroy, 11th December 1749

Dear Major Windham,—Forgive me my Presumptuousness. I did not mean to imply that we were not Friends now, nor indeed that we were Friends now. In truth, I did not mean to imply anything at all. Nor should I have been so discourteous as to refer to an Occasion that is certainly painful in your Memory.

I can only apologise for my Clumsiness & hope we may resume our Correspondence on its previous Basis.

Your obd't Servant,  
Ewen Cameron of Ardroy

* * *

Folkestone, 2nd September 1749

Dear Ardroy,—I too thought we might have been Friends—even, perhaps, were meant to be Friends. I wonder'd if any such Thought had cross'd your Mind, then or since. 

I have sometimes imagin'd us meeting under other more favourable Circumstances, tho' it is difficult to see what those Circumstances might be, or what on Earth could have brought our Paths together besides the true Course of Events. You say I was an unwilling Visitor to Ardroy, & indeed I was most unwilling, & yet if not for that, we never should have met at all, & I for one would not willingly have foregone that.

I am now in Kent, as you see. I have rejoin'd my Regiment, which return'd to England in early '48. The Land hereabouts is flat & chalky; a greater Contrast with the Highlands can scarcely be imagin'd. When I was your Guest at Ardroy, as you once put it—& indeed no Guest could have ask'd for a better Host, despite the awkward Circumstances!—I am afraid I was not in the ideal frame of Mind to pay attention to my Surroundings. But I have since tried to imagine Ardroy through your Eyes. Tho' I cannot do it Justice, it gladdens me to think of you there.

Your Servant,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Folkestone, 29th December 1749

Dear Ardroy,—I believe our Letters have cross'd—or perhaps one of mine was lost.

Indeed there is nothing to forgive. I should be honour'd to count you as a Friend.

I hope you will consider me the same.

Your Friend,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 2nd February 1750

My dear Windham,—I fear'd I had offended you—or even that there was some other more sinister Explanation for your Silence, tho' with Peace in Europe now there is surely no need to fear the worst. But it occurr'd to me that, should your Letters one day cease to arrive, I would never know the Reason for it.

I too have sometimes tried to imagine what other Paths might have brought us together. Upon Reflection, however, I believe I would not change anything of the true Circumstances. That came about because you are what you are & I am what I am, & I would not willingly change either.

You said you had tried to picture Ardroy as I might, but since you have never seen Ardroy in the Winter, let me attempt, however unsatisfactorily, to describe it to you. Last Year you wrote that your Experience of the Highlands in Winter was not the most pleasant, & I will allow that it must not have been, but let me try to convince you that it can be otherwise. Some of my Neighbours, I know, spend the greater part of the Year in Edinburgh or even in London, & return to their Estates only for a few Months in the Summer, but I cannot conceive why. Not when the Lake here (it is call'd Loch na h-Iolaire, the Eagle's Lake) glitters frozen in the Winter Sun; when the Birch Trees are cover'd with delicate Needles of Hoarfrost; when the first Coltsfoot blooms among the Snowbanks in Spring... I am no Poet, so I cannot describe it as well as another Man might, but I hope I have in some small Measure succeeded in conveying my Meaning. And that you will indulge me my Excess of Feeling!

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

Folkestone, 11th March 1750

My dear Ardroy,—Should I suddenly stop writing, I should hate you to think it were for any other Reason than that Circumstances had prevented me, against my Will, from doing so.

I have a younger half-brother Francis, Viscount Aveling. I have not seen as much of him in recent Years as I should like, but I have written to give him your Name & Direction, that he may write to you should he ever have News of me that I cannot give you myself.

You have convinced me that there is something to be said for the Highlands in Winter, but I shall not subject you to the dubious Pleasure of reading my own Attempt to describe my Situation in Kent in the same Season. I have not your Natural Affection for the Subject! Kent is a pleasant County, to be sure, but for me its principal Advantage is its Proximity to London, as I hope to seize the Opportunity to visit my Brother, who lives there. 

Perhaps now that I am station'd in England the Postal Service between us may be more reliable. 

Your Friend,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 28th April 1750

My dear Windham,—My aunt Margaret knows I write to you. I have ask'd her to do so in my Stead if ever I cannot.

I know, of course, that you cannot write much about your Daily Life, so entirely taken up as it must be with Military Matters, but I should like to hear about your Brother. You write of him with Affection.

I have no Siblings of my own, but of course you knew my Foster-Brothers & Foster-Father, & I have many Cousins, close & distant. My Mother was an Appin Stewart, & many of her Family still live on & around Loch Creran. I shall certainly visit them this Summer, as I was us'd to do in my Childhood, tho' that has not been possible in recent Years. 

I hope this finds you in Good Health, as it leaves me.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

Folkestone, 12th June 1750

My dear Ardroy,—My Brother Francis is a full fifteen Years younger than I am. He is an open-hearted Young Man, quick to like & trust others, & I cannot but love him for it. We saw one another last Month for the first time in several Years, when I obtain'd a few Days' Leave to visit my Stepfather's London Residence.

I wish I had seen more of him in our Childhood, but you may judge for yourself how young he was when I first went away to take up my Commission. Indeed it is strange that he has retain'd as much Affection for me as he has, seeing me only now & then.

You ask'd about my Daily Life. Perhaps you will be amus'd to hear that some of my Evenings recently have been spent puzzling over a little Book of Gaelic that has come into my Possession, left behind by a former Member of my Regiment, a Corporal from the Western Isles. It is a Psalter—indeed, by my Understanding there is little or no Publish'd Material of a secular Nature in Erse—& has the Advantage that I may lay it side-by-side with the corresponding English Translation. Tho' that is not of a great deal of help to me—the Flavour & Structure of the two Languages seem to be so different that I can scarcely make one Word correspond with its Mate.

I hope you will not find my Interest peculiar or disrespectful—or perhaps, like my previous Orderly, you will suggest that it is pointless Exercise for me to undertake. Indeed I cannot quite explain it myself, except that my Interest in & even Fondness for your Land seems to have grown since my Departure. Perhaps one may say that a Man with a Scots Name in a Scots Regiment should surely have a little more Knowledge of that Land than I did when first I went there.

Your Friend,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 2nd August 1750

My dear Windham,—There is a little printed Poetry in Gaelic—I have occasionally seen Booklets & Brochures publish'd in Edinburgh—but I'm afraid it is mostly on Subjects whose Political Stance you would not condone, & I would not wish to put you in the awkward Position of bringing them to your Attention. 

In the Library of my Uncle, whom I visited last Month, I did find a small Tome by a Poet call'd Iain Cameron from Ballachulish on Loch Leven (I am not sure whether you know it?—some ten Miles South of Fort William, & indeed, very close to the Home of my Uncle) who is very well regarded by those with Literary Inclinations. He is less predispos'd to Political Subjects, & I enclose one of his Works which I copied out while I was there, thinking you might enjoy it—or at least, that the Repetitive Structure is such that it may lend itself well to your Exercises in matching English & Gaelic words!

I beg you to excuse my pedestrian Translation. I am no Poet, I am afraid, & moreover I have never attempted such an Exercise before. My School Days, as you may imagine, were spent wrestling unsuccessfully with Latin Hexameters & the like, & this sort of thing did not figure. But perhaps my own Affection for the Subject may help me.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

_  
Chì mi ann coilltean; chì mi ann doireachan;  
Chì mi ann maghan bàna is torraiche;  
Chì mi na fèidh air làr nan coireachan,  
Falaicht' an trusgan de cheò.  
_

_  
Beanntaichean àrda is àillidh leacainnean;  
Sluagh ann an còmhnaidh is còire chleachdainnean;  
'S aotrom mo cheum a' leum 'gam faicinn;  
Is fanaidh mi tacan le deòin.  
_

_  
I see woods there; I see groves of trees there;  
I see fair and fertile fields there;  
I see the deer upon the earth of the corries;  
Hidden by a plaid of mist.  
_

_  
High mountains and resplendent mountain ledges;  
The people there always the kindliest;  
Light is my gait as I leap up to see them;  
And I will gladly stay there a while.  
_

* * *

Folkestone, 13th October 1750

Dear Ardroy,—Altho' we have return'd to Folkestone now, we spent the greater part of the Summer on Manoeuvres along the South Coast. I have enclos'd a Sketch I made on a rather long Day we spent waiting by Gosport, of a yellow Flower that grows in Abundance on the Heathland there. I believe it reminds me of one I saw at Ardroy, tho' I am no great Botanist, & you will tell me I am sure if I have misremember'd.

Your Friend,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 2nd January 1751

Dear Windham,—You have been hiding your Light under a Bushel! I had no notion you could draw, nor that you drew so well.

I am afraid I have never made a Study of the Latin Names, but in Gaelic it is bliochan & is to be found in great Profusion along the eastern Shores of the Lake here.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

Bristol, 29th March 1751

Dear Ardroy,—My Regiment is to be sent to Nova Scotia. I did wonder if someday I might be deploy'd to Scotland again, but it is to be the new Scotland rather than the old.

The Distance travell'd by our Letters will be longer & their Journey more uncertain. I fear many will go astray, but I shall continue to write, & I shall beg you to do the same, even if you do not seem to hear from me as often as before.

Your Friend,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 1st June 1751

Dear Windham,—I too wonder'd if you might someday be station'd in Scotland again. I suppose you are even now somewhere in the Middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

I am at present wholly immers'd in the Business of Hay-making. The Weather has held fine for several Weeks now, & we have easily mow'd an Acre a Day or more. It is more than warm enough to swim in the Lake, & tho' I rarely have had the Leisure to do so these past few Days, I shall hope to find the Time again soon.

I often think of you & hope you do not feel too keenly the Rigours of the Journey. I pray this Letter, & even more so your own Self, will be granted a swift & safe Passage.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

Halifax, 2nd July 1751

Dear Ardroy,—My Regiment & I have taken up our new Posting in Acadia. I have spent the past two Weeks on the numerous administrative & logistical Tasks that you may imagine accompany the Installation of a large Body of Men. The Sea Voyage seem'd interminable at times—you know a Soldier is not us'd to being at the Mercy of the Winds & Currents, & the North Atlantic Ocean has more than its fair share of Gales!—but it also had its Points of Interest. In Scotland I saw Mountains higher than I ever had before, but now I may also lay claim to having seen Mountains of Ice—great floating Chunks which break off from the Sheets of Ice that are said to cover Greenland & other northern Lands.

Acadia is a mountainous Country—I wonder if you have ever seen the Lay of the Land on a Map? I am station'd for the present in Halifax, on the eastern Coast of Nova Scotia, on the Atlantic Ocean.

My fellow Officers complain of the Wilderness & of the Inconveniences & Difficulties inherent in moving Troops around the Peninsula. Some Roads were built by the French during the Period of their Occupation, & Cornwallis has been busy building more, to connect his new Forts.

It is a wild Country, to be sure, but there is a certain bleak Grandeur to it, reminiscent of the Highlands. The Mountains come directly down to the Sea in a way that reminds me of the Coast around Arisaig. The Summer after we parted at Fort Augustus I was station'd for many Months on those Shores. I will not mention my Mission—I think you can guess it & know it fail'd. Nevertheless, it is a Period I look back on as a happy one. Albemarle had favour'd me in my Career—the miserable time I had spent in Inverness was far behind me—I knew you were safe & free. 

I have tried my Hand at a few Sketches of the Landscape here, but without any great Success. My Pencil cannot capture the Breadth & Depth of what I see.

I remember you were surpris'd by my Drawing. I would not say I have any great Skill at it, & certainly no Training, but many Years of Practice have hon'd my Pencil. In fact I have kept a Diary since first I receiv'd my Commission—you may have seen me writing in it in that Hut we shar'd at Glenfinnan—& some Memories are more easily committed to Paper via Drawing than via Words.

In this Instance I will acknowledge my Limitations & concentrate on something smaller & more within my Reach. The Sketch in the Margin is of a curious curled Fern they call a Fiddlehead here, & which is edible.

Your Friend,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 20th November 1751

My dear Windham,—I have been away from Ardroy, visiting my Mother's Family on Lake Crern & have hurried to return before the Winter Weather sets in with a Vengeance.

I have not heard from you in many Months, not since you wrote to say you had arriv'd safely in Halifax. I pray you are well, & that only the unreliable Nature of an Atlantic Crossing is to blame for your Silence.

I hope you are not thinking the same of me, but rather that you have receiv'd all my Letters.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

Fort Sackville, 3rd January 1752

Dear Ardroy,—The Nights have been long, dark & quiet here in recent Weeks. I have read all the Books I brought with me, & am now making my laborious Way through Histoire de Sévarambes. I have not been accustom'd to read in French before, at least not since my School Days, but it was the only Book I could obtain from a Tradesman in Halifax. He seems to have many Contacts with the French at Louisburg. I remember several Books in French at Ardroy & think you certainly have the Advantage over me here. You will remember the Gaelic Psalter I had in Kent? I have it no longer, I am sorry to say. It was lost in the Wreck of a Baggage Train as we mov'd between Forts. I regret its Loss, tho' you know I never progress'd very far in my Study of it.

It has been bitterly cold here for some Months now, & the Men are miserable, tho' many of them have liv'd through more than one Highland Winter. I too long for Spring, I admit. A British Packet was in Port at Halifax last Week, but they had originally been making for Boston & had been blown hundreds of Miles off course—& that being so, none of the Mail they carried was destin'd for us. You may imagine my Disappointment.

I receiv'd your Letter of October last, & tho' it was so spoilt by Water that I could not read it, I was pleas'd & reliev'd to hear from you. I have tried to send my own Letters in Duplicate wherever possible. I think of you during the long Winter at Ardroy, & hope you are well.

Your Friend,  
Keith Windham

* * *

Ardroy, 4th April 1752

Dear Windham,—The London & Edinburgh Newspapers do not take as much Interest as I should like in Events in your Part of the World. I know you have seen Fighting last Winter, but only heard of it recently.

Sometimes I fear I am writing only for myself when I take up my Pen. I wish I might know how many of my Letters reach you.

And most of all, I wish I might be sure that you are alive & well.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

Ardroy, 12th January 1753

Dear Major Windham,—My Nephew once ask'd me to write to you in his Stead, should anything ever occur to prevent him from doing so. It is for that Reason that I now address this Letter to you. Several of your own Letters have reach'd us here at Ardroy in recent Days, but my Nephew has been imprison'd at Fort William since October, & it is not clear how long he may yet remain there. Yours &c., Margaret Cameron

* * *

Halifax, 2nd April 1753

Madam,—I thank you most sincerely for the great Service you do me in sending me News of your Nephew. Over a Year has pass'd since last I heard from him, & I had grown uneasy.

You do not say for what Reason he is imprison'd, nor what Risks he faces. I know you most likely consider me more in the Light of an Enemy than a Friend, but I beg you to give me more News of him if you can.

Your obd't Servant,  
Keith Windham, Major

* * *

Ardroy, 27th April 1753

Dear Windham,—I am sorry for my Silence, & more sorry still that it is like to be prolong'd. I return'd to Ardroy last night, after an involuntary Absence of many Months' Duration, & Tomorrow I must leave for London on urgent Business. I am not sure how long I will be away.

I found many of your Letters waiting for me. I thank you for them. I will carry them with me to read on the Journey.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

London, 10th July 1753

Dear Windham,—I am in London. I have no idea if the News of what has happen'd will reach Halifax before this Letter does. My cousin Archibald, brother of Lochiel, was sent to the Scaffold. I cannot write more on that. Indeed I can scarcely write as much. 

But I wish'd to say that your Stepfather was good enough to help me see my Cousin during his Imprisonment, & your Brother Aveling kind enough to accompany me while I tried to intercede on his Behalf. I did not mean to importune them, but Chance brought me into their way, & I cannot but be most sincerely grateful to them, & to you, for they told me you had spoken well of me to them.

Your Friend,  
Ardroy

* * *

Fort Sackville, 3rd September 1753

My dear Ardroy,—I am more sorry than I can say. I had the Honour to meet Dr Cameron at Glenfinnan, & my Brother has written to me of the Courage & Dignity he shew'd the World.

I hope you will believe my Sincerity when I say I have often been dismay'd at the undue Harshness display'd by certain of my own Party, and especially in this Case, so long after the Events in question.

Yours in Sympathy,  
Keith Windham

* * * 

Ardroy, 6th November 1753

My dear Windham,—I thank you for your Letter & your Sentiments. I can still scarcely credit it has happen'd. Of five Brothers, four have given their Lives to the one Cause, & tho' none of them would regret for a Moment having taken the Path that led them there, they leave many grieving Hearts behind them. It is a bitter thing.

I did not mention it at the Time, but when I first wrote to you I was in Bergues at the Sickbed of my Cousin Lochiel. Like his Brother he left a Wife & many Children. His youngest Son is scarce one Year old & will never know his Father. It was my own Case too, you know.

I have return'd to Ardroy now, after travelling to France with Jean, my Cousin Archibald's Wife, who joins Lady Lochiel at Havre-de-Grace.

I saw your Family several Times more before I left London. They were Kindness itself, but to be in London—at Stowe House no less—but to know that you were far away!—It was difficult to bear. Will you forgive me my Presumption if I say I long to see you?

Your Friend,  
Ewen

* * *

Halifax, 11th January 1754

My dear Ewen,—There is no Presumption, only Joy on my Part to know that I am not alone in what I wish for. 

The Packet that brought me your Letter is leaving for England again in a matter of Hours. I wish it were carrying me with it, that I might convey to you in Person my Condolences, inadequate tho' they must be.

I wish it also for my own selfish Reasons, because I long to see you too. I suppose my deep Regard for you was perfectly clear at Fort Augustus. It has remain'd unchang'd since.

Your Friend,  
Keith

* * *

Ardroy, 2nd March 1754

My dear Keith,—You say you felt you were perfectly clear at Fort Augustus, but you would smile if you knew how many times I have por'd over your Letters, seeking some Proof that I was not alone in setting such store by our Friendship.

As I write this, I wonder if my own Letters were equally obscure. Sometimes I have stay'd my Pen, not writing what first came to Heart & to Mind, uncertain how my Words might be receiv'd. I did not tell you what a Blow it was to me to hear you were sent to Nova Scotia, nor how much I had hop'd you might one day be station'd in Scotland again. Indeed I hop'd for it & yet dreaded it, thinking Events would most likely bring us into Conflict again, tho' that seems less & less likely now.

Even now that I do not hesitate to urge you to visit me, or let me journey to your side, it is all to no avail, since you are far beyond my Reach.

Your Friend,  
Ewen

* * *

Halifax, 12th May 1754

My dear Ewen,—You are not alone in reading a Handful of Letters a Hundred Times over—nor in sitting for a long Time over one Sentence, unsure how it may be receiv'd. It is a difficult Thing to communicate by Letter. I admit that I have often chosen Caution over Candour, & not only on military Matters.

Then let me say plainly that your Letters have been a Source of Joy & Pleasure to me, that would be surpass'd only by the Pleasure of seeing you again.

Your Friend,  
Keith

* * *

Halifax, 29th May 1754

Dear Ewen,—By the time you read this, I myself will be halfway across the Atlantic, I hope. My Regiment is to return to England in a Month's time.

It should be possible, even easy, for me to secure a Furlough of several Months after this long Deployment. As soon as I can be sure of it, I shall write to you at once. You see I presume to invite myself to Ardroy, trusting you will have no Objection, but will look forward to it as much as I do.

Your Friend,  
Keith

* * *

London, 9th September 1754

Dear Ewen,—I take ship for Inverness tomorrow. I hope to be with you by Michaelmas.

Your Friend,  
Keith

* * *

**Epilogue**

Ardroy, 3rd February 1755

My dear Friend,—I fear the pressed Flower I enclose will be dried & crush'd into Dust by the Time it reaches you. But you will remember the Afternoon when the Heather was blooming on the Hills above the Loch, & you were there with me—and complained of its Spikes when you lay on it!

Ardroy seems quiet and empty at the moment, but I set my Sights and my Hopes on my journey to London in the Summer.

You know the one I love is far from me now, but your Letters will go some way towards raising my Spirits.

Yours ever,  
Ewen

* * *

Folkestone, 6th March 1755

My dear Ewen,—You once spoke to me of two Threads twisted together—a Thread of one Colour and a Thread of another. It seems to me they are now so entwined that they will never be put asunder.

I have drawn your Heather Flower in the margin as it was that Afternoon last September, & as it burns so brightly in my Memory. The Recollection of that Day will sustain me until next we meet.

Yours ever,  
Keith

**Author's Note:**

> The poem in Gaelic is by Iain or John Cameron of Ballachulish, written in 1856

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] A Thousand Dreams in One Drop of Ink](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25589350) by [Luzula (Luzula_podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luzula_podfic/pseuds/Luzula)




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